Brain-Sucker

"Guess what this is?" My uncle would ask this question while his hand was on top of my head doing a weird pulsing motion. Then he'd say, "A brain-sucker starving to death!" *Insert knee slap here.* That annoying brain-sucker was actually harmless. I have, however, encountered more detrimental brain-suckers in my adult life. The most difficult, of late, has been my television.

Now, don't get me wrong. I love TV. I always have, and now it's my livelihood. Not only do I love television, but I want everyone else to love it, too. This affection for that warm, flickering glow is the reason I have difficulty admitting that too much of this good thing is not good for me.

Maybe I'm being too hard on television. "Brain-sucker" is a bit of an exaggeration. A more accurate description of TV's effect on me is "brain-clogger." The television doesn't actually remove material from my brain. It just causes cessation of creativity, productivity and inspiration. I find that a lack of stimulation around me prods my brain to fill the gap. If I am not occupying my mind with Homer Simpson's hi jinks, then my mind will occupy itself with dark forms of little birds sitting in swirls of a thick, blue-green atmosphere, paint and canvass, brushes. If Stewie's attempts at matricide aren't commanding my attention, then my attention drifts toward a more keen awareness of my real emotional state; why I feel that way; what words express it best.

Please understand, this musing isn't a damnation of television. I certainly don't have a melodramatic view of TV as some sort of destructor of society, family, or whatever. I actually believe TV is a glorious portal to a small world. A portal with tremendous power, and those of us who wield that power have a tremendous responsibility (yes, that's from Spiderman, but it happens to be true.) I must sometimes remind myself that this medium for which I have so much respect has a tremendous power over me, just like so many others. Ben & Jerry's ice cream has a similar power over me.

Everyone has brain-suckers. Mine is television. Someone else's may be video games, internet surfing, gossip. As is the case with many of the yummiest things in life, moderation is a necessary virtue. Less television means more art, writing and introspection. Less Ben & Jerry's means wearing the little red bikini without a t-shirt.

I think Homer will have to entertain someone else tonight. I'll catch up with him on Sunday.

Voices In My Head

That inner voice. Different people call it different things: intuition, God, your gut, psychic ability, the Shining. However you attribute its origin, we all have it to one degree or another. I believe that learning to recognize that universal gift in yourself, and then learning to trust it, are two of the most important lessons to learn in life. I, unfortunately, have learned these lessons the hard way.

I won't go into the gory details on such a public forum, but I recently bore the consequences of dismissing a strong gut feeling. I had an intuitive knowledge that I should not enter into a specific contract. Why did I do it? I let desperation, emotion, and a trusting nature override what I now know was an unmistakable directive from a higher power, a sixth sense, to walk away. The misery I've endured as a result is beyond anything I could have imagined, but I am getting out of this situation, and I am accomplishing that by trusting my gut.

Why do we ever dismiss intuition?

We dismiss it because intuition isn't logical. It isn't rational. When you stack the facts, inclusion of a gut feeling as a factor isn't possible, and often not defensible as a reason for taking a particular position. And yet, there is very little risk in trusting your gut. Even if a situation doesn't work out the way you expect, you can usually look back with the satisfaction of knowing you did what was right and good for yourself.

So, I now have the proof I need to confidently to go forward trusting my intuition, God, my gut, my psychic ability and the Shine. If I ever tell you to avoid a particular room in big, old remote hotel in the dead of winter, don't question it. Just switch your reservation to the Holiday Inn Express.