Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Wet Buzz

The struggle was epic. Due to the slight chill in the house, the extreme exhaustion from the previous night's work, and the sweetness of both cats snuggled up to me, getting out of bed seemed like the worst possible choice. As a result, I have been preoccupied today with various forms of caffeination.

I have never had an addiction to a traditional drug. Can't relate to the physical and mental need to self-medicate in that way....or can I? Isn't addiction marked by an inability to function "normally" without your fix? Always planning how to get the next dose and negotiating the obstacles to get there? Pondering different delivery methods if your preferred form is not readily available? Check, check, check, check....I'm an addict.

I've had a cup of coffee this morning and am now sipping caffeinated water, wondering if I have a dollar in my purse to get a Diet Dr. Pepper this afternoon. I feel actual pangs of jealousy and resentment when someone tells me they went to Starbucks without me. (I have called my significant other a bastard numerous times for this offense, and he deserved it every time.)

Conventional wisdom states that the first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem. Done. I guess the next step would be a desire to recover. I'll ponder that as I wait for my grande triple skinny vanilla latte.

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